Once upon a time, I would make plans for the weekend. Outings on Friday nights, sleep in Saturday morning (until noon sometimes!!), perhaps a second outing Saturday night, and a day of doing absolutely nothing on Sunday. I would return to school/work re-energized and ready to tackle the week ahead of me.
Cut to, now. My weekends consist of catching up on laundry, cleaning, kid birthday parties, sports practices and games, grocery shopping, catching up on leftover work from the week…the list is endless. A postpartum woman also often takes on an additional load of responsibilities. Nursing day and night, pumping at work, bottles to wash, hormones running amok, hairloss (yes, that’s right, hairloss!!), a body that stubbornly refuses to return to normal, and an endless sense of guilt and imperfection. Am I feeding the right foods? Am I raising my kid(s) properly? Am I doing what’s best for my kid(s)?? Am I a good mom??
Amidst the chaos that is motherhood, very rarely does a mother stop to wonder, what about me? But when she does – at least when I did – be prepared to open the flood gates; the overwhelming emotion that comes with reminiscing about times now past, years now lost, and a youth and beauty now aged, is reason enough for even the sanest of women to lose it a little.
Today, I wondered, what about me? My body is slowly becoming increasingly foreign. Pregnancy and birth change a woman’s body in ways she never imagined. The time to workout is becoming less and less, so one’s body becomes more and more…soft?? Sigh. I look at pictures now and wonder, will it ever be the same again? Um, with surgery maybe?? Sigh, again.
My husband says, ‘you need to make time for yourself’. Are we – mothers – then too giving of ourselves and time? Do we, mothers, consciously make ourselves out to be the victims? Who knows. As far as I can tell, the to-do list in my life is endless. But my husband is right (wait, did I just say that??). Perhaps there are things that can go by the wayside sometimes, right? My kid(s) can go a night without a bath. The dishes can be left overnight without washing. Pick the toys up off the floor and makes the beds? What? Why? The toys will be played with again tomorrow, and the bed slept in again the next night, right?
Worry not, this is by no means a pity-party post. More so, it is a reminder that although life has changed, and time is less abundant, that sometimes…you just need to stop. Take the time to rediscover the new you and make amends with this version of yourself. Embrace this new phase of life and make the time to take care of, well, you.
So, I herein declare this day the start of the me-time phase of my life. To help me become a better mother, a better wife, and a better version of me. Anyone want to join me? Me-time can get a little lonely; I’ll need some girlfriends to join me during my me-time from time to time.