Me, who?

Once upon a time, I would make plans for the weekend.  Outings on Friday nights, sleep in Saturday morning (until noon sometimes!!), perhaps a second outing Saturday night, and a day of doing absolutely nothing on Sunday.  I would return to school/work re-energized and ready to tackle the week ahead of me.

Cut to, now.  My weekends consist of catching up on laundry, cleaning, kid birthday parties, sports practices and games, grocery shopping, catching up on leftover work from the week…the list is endless.  A postpartum woman also often takes on an additional load of responsibilities.  Nursing day and night, pumping at work, bottles to wash, hormones running amok, hairloss (yes, that’s right, hairloss!!), a body that stubbornly refuses to return to normal, and an endless sense of guilt and imperfection.  Am I feeding the right foods?  Am I raising my kid(s) properly?  Am I doing what’s best for my kid(s)??  Am I a good mom??

Amidst the chaos that is motherhood, very rarely does a mother stop to wonder, what about me?  But when she does – at least when I did – be prepared to open the flood gates; the overwhelming emotion that comes with reminiscing about times now past, years now lost, and a youth and beauty now aged, is reason enough for even the sanest of women to lose it a little.

Today, I wondered, what about me?  My body is slowly becoming increasingly foreign.  Pregnancy and birth change a woman’s body in ways she never imagined.  The time to workout is becoming less and less, so one’s body becomes more and more…soft??  Sigh.  I look at pictures now and wonder, will it ever be the same again?  Um, with surgery maybe??  Sigh, again.

My husband says, ‘you need to make time for yourself’.  Are we – mothers – then too giving of ourselves and time?  Do we, mothers, consciously make ourselves out to be the victims?  Who knows.  As far as I can tell, the to-do list in my life is endless.  But my husband is right (wait, did I just say that??).  Perhaps there are things that can go by the wayside sometimes, right?  My kid(s) can go a night without a bath.  The dishes can be left overnight without washing.  Pick the toys up off the floor and makes the beds?  What?  Why?  The toys will be played with again tomorrow, and the bed slept in again the next night, right?

Worry not, this is by no means a pity-party post.  More so, it is a reminder that although life has changed, and time is less abundant, that sometimes…you just need to stop.  Take the time to rediscover the new you and make amends with this version of yourself.  Embrace this new phase of life and make the time to take care of, well, you.

So, I herein declare this day the start of the me-time phase of my life.  To help me become a better mother, a better wife, and a better version of me.  Anyone want to join me?  Me-time can get a little lonely; I’ll need some girlfriends to join me during my me-time from time to time.

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10 thoughts on “Me, who?

  1. Betty says:

    First and foremost, do you ever sleep? Second, I couldn’t agree more with you. Four years later I still haven’t given myself any me time. Sigh indeed. When I even ponder the thought I feel guilty so I quickly talk myself out of it. As far as my body going back to normal not as easy as when I had my firstborn. Again, sigh.

    Good luck with your me time. Thanks for the posts. Keep them coming. And with that I bid you good night.

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    • Chic in Academia says:

      Betty, I think you are right. I probably need to sleep more! Perhaps I should start with ‘me time’ there! Haha! Yes, the guilt will get you every time. I don’t know if I will be successful, but I will certainly give it a shot. Perhaps we both should! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and yes, good night and good rest to you as well! 🙂

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  2. jamie says:

    I love love love this post! The first lady has famously had this same discussion around this feeling you described as being a catalyst for her own daily workout and self care routine. I’m not a mom yet maybe for fears related to this very thing, and academia. Great post!

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    • Chic in Academia says:

      I had no idea the first lady had addressed this issue as well! No wonder I think she’s great! 🙂

      When you become a mom as a professional of any sort, you automatically engage in, what I like to refer to as, ‘the balancing act’. Some thrive at it, and others struggle; I have no doubt you would thrive. 😉 That said, one often forgets that staying true to oneself and making time for onself is among the things that need to be kept in balance. A reminder is certainly good from time to time.

      I’m so glad you enjoyed the post and thank you for taking the time to read it!

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  3. Katie I says:

    I want to join you! I haven’t had a decent workout (or night’s sleep) in over 3 years! I used to be a very fit travel, food, and wine enthusiast. Now I’m just exhausted and don’t care. I also just had my seemingly brilliant research idea pummeled by grant reviewers, so now I hate my job, too. Thanks for letting me vent a little. Yes, yes, I need ME time. :o)

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    • Chic in Academia says:

      Oh, Katie!! You did indeed need to vent! That’s quite a bit to deal with, girl. So sorry to hear about your grant. So much work and time goes into those things that you would think they would at the very least give you a pat on the back for effort!! Sigh. I’m with you on the sleeping part…it is definitely a scarce commodity around here. We must continue to care about the things we used to care about though! Our children must know that their mothers are not stressed out stressed-out crazies! You must take some me time and then tell me about it! I took some today ( only 30 minutes…to give myself a mani) and it made all the difference in my day! Thanks so much for reading by blog; I hope to continue to write about topics that appeal to you and others!

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    • Chic in Academia says:

      Marie,
      First and foremost, thank you SO much for reading my blog! Second, my sexy has taken off as well and I’m about to put it on a milk carton and declare it missing!! I did give myself a mani today, and that seemed to help a bit. I definitely agree that the time for you to get your sexy back is, NOW! Let’s make a concerted effort to make ourselves feel womanly and sexy again. 😉

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