The Mani-Cure

Disclaimer:  The following post is, much like the current state of my life, a bit disjointed.  So, I ask you to bear with me just this one time.

As some of my readers know, I lost my beloved Vienna just yesterday.  The title of this post therefore stems from a emotionally-exhausted attempt to seek some comfort, a ‘cure’ if you will, from something as simple as a ‘mani’cure.

My Beloved Dog, Vienna:

vienna

She was a sweet, sweet dog.  Loved to chase after squirrels.  Had an insatiable appetite. Loved to burrow under a doggie blanket before falling asleep in her doggie bed at night.  Loved us unconditionally.  Sigh, so difficult to write this just a day later.

Not skipping a beat, off to work I went today.  The morning was tough, but I managed to check some things off my list.  As lunch time approached, the tears were starting to overwhelm me.  Hoping to find something to take my mind off of the sadness, I left my office for a lunch break away from my desk.

There are usually two things that can make me feel comforted when away from my loved ones: a mani with a manicurist who is a good listener and comfort food…Mexican.

So, off to lunch I went.  In one hour, I managed to drive to the restaurant, eat my food (I ate it too fast to capture a picture of it, oops!), get my nails done, and drive back to my office. Pretty impressive, right?  I thought so!  Efficiency at its best. 🙂

Post-mani:

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Often a manicure will eat up a large chunk of time, but over time and after numerous smudged manicures, I have identified two items that make for quick-drying, long-lasting, glossy manicure.

The first is this Deborah Lippman ‘It’s Raining Men’ polish:

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Or, another favorite, Sinful ‘Ruby Ruby’ polish:

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…and the second, a coat of Sally Hansen Insta-Dri:

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That’s it.  The no-nonsense mani for the working, professional woman.  The red hues described are not obnoxious and the SH Insta-Dri dries in literally 5-7 minutes!!  The SH Insta-Dri I totally recommend.  In fact, I suggest you hop in your car after reading this post, and run to the drugstore to buy one for yourself!  I joke, I joke. Seriously, though, finish reading my post. 😉

So, much like Elle Woods (yes, that’s a Legally Blonde reference), I too sought a ‘Mani-Cure’ for my bad-day woes.

But, was I cured of my doggie-blues?  Not quite unfortunately.

Grieving, from what I am gathering, is not a one-day experience; even when grieving over a pet.  Although I felt momentarily happy, I kept thinking of Vienna. For example, how I will miss hearing her nails on our wood floors at home, despite how much it sometimes irked me to hear them at 6am when she would rush to our room to alert us that the sun was out and she needed to be fed.

Also hard, is explaining to my four-year old where his doggie is now.  Of course we explained that she is now in heaven.  We pointed to the sky in an attempt to explain where heaven is.  Thinking we had appeased his intrigue of heaven, we left the subject alone only to be confronted with, “Mommy, but I still want my Vienna,” when we tucked him in at night.  Followed by, “Vienna is going to be scared in the sky because it’s dark now”.  “What if the lightning and thunder hurt her??”

Together, we are working towards healing.  They – the experts and others – say that talking about it, writing about, etc., can be therapeutic.  Alas, this post, is an attempt to do just that; heal.  If anything, it helps me maintain a sense of normalcy for a few minutes out of the day, by telling you about how my ‘Mani-Cure’ temporarily helped to heal my emotional wounds.

We love you, Vienna (2007-2013).  Forever you will be the heartbeat at our feet.

Me, who?

Once upon a time, I would make plans for the weekend.  Outings on Friday nights, sleep in Saturday morning (until noon sometimes!!), perhaps a second outing Saturday night, and a day of doing absolutely nothing on Sunday.  I would return to school/work re-energized and ready to tackle the week ahead of me.

Cut to, now.  My weekends consist of catching up on laundry, cleaning, kid birthday parties, sports practices and games, grocery shopping, catching up on leftover work from the week…the list is endless.  A postpartum woman also often takes on an additional load of responsibilities.  Nursing day and night, pumping at work, bottles to wash, hormones running amok, hairloss (yes, that’s right, hairloss!!), a body that stubbornly refuses to return to normal, and an endless sense of guilt and imperfection.  Am I feeding the right foods?  Am I raising my kid(s) properly?  Am I doing what’s best for my kid(s)??  Am I a good mom??

Amidst the chaos that is motherhood, very rarely does a mother stop to wonder, what about me?  But when she does – at least when I did – be prepared to open the flood gates; the overwhelming emotion that comes with reminiscing about times now past, years now lost, and a youth and beauty now aged, is reason enough for even the sanest of women to lose it a little.

Today, I wondered, what about me?  My body is slowly becoming increasingly foreign.  Pregnancy and birth change a woman’s body in ways she never imagined.  The time to workout is becoming less and less, so one’s body becomes more and more…soft??  Sigh.  I look at pictures now and wonder, will it ever be the same again?  Um, with surgery maybe??  Sigh, again.

My husband says, ‘you need to make time for yourself’.  Are we – mothers – then too giving of ourselves and time?  Do we, mothers, consciously make ourselves out to be the victims?  Who knows.  As far as I can tell, the to-do list in my life is endless.  But my husband is right (wait, did I just say that??).  Perhaps there are things that can go by the wayside sometimes, right?  My kid(s) can go a night without a bath.  The dishes can be left overnight without washing.  Pick the toys up off the floor and makes the beds?  What?  Why?  The toys will be played with again tomorrow, and the bed slept in again the next night, right?

Worry not, this is by no means a pity-party post.  More so, it is a reminder that although life has changed, and time is less abundant, that sometimes…you just need to stop.  Take the time to rediscover the new you and make amends with this version of yourself.  Embrace this new phase of life and make the time to take care of, well, you.

So, I herein declare this day the start of the me-time phase of my life.  To help me become a better mother, a better wife, and a better version of me.  Anyone want to join me?  Me-time can get a little lonely; I’ll need some girlfriends to join me during my me-time from time to time.

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